Twin Escalation Syndrome

Sounds bizarre at first, but soon parents of multiples discover it is real and it is prominent. Basically it’s a situation in which one twin does something and then the other does it bigger or louder, and so on and so forth.  In all honesty, when I first read of this, I thought 'Why isn't it called Sibling Escalation Syndrome?'.  THEN, I learned my lesson and I learned it well!  Although our singleton will escalate with his younger twin sisters, it only accounts for approximately 1/3 of the instances we've experienced with all three escalating.

As per my experience, here's how TES has played out through the years (so far):

*Newborns/Infants - The sympathy cry ~ one cries; the other hears & cries as well.  There is not much a parent can do at this stage, especially if you're alone with the two.  If you're by yourself, you can try a sling/carrier for two, a baby carrier for one with the other in your arm, or both in their car seats rocking and rubbing their little feet.  Obviously my husband and I had our hands full carrying and rocking our girls during the 'Witching Hour' - that hour in which it's time for dinner but you have two crying infants.  Woooo!  Basically, we only concerned ourselves with their comfort and helping our son adjust.

*Toddlers - This was a particularly tough stage for us.  TES manifested itself when one twin took her finger, gagged herself and laughed.  The other twin found this hilarious and repeated.  The louder the gag, the funnier....then....the puke.  UGH. Admittedly, I was not the nicest Mommy with this development.  Hey, I feel like I owe any reader way more than the high-light reels of life!!!  You’re welcome and I’m sorry – haha!!  Another escalation was taking a magazine, book or newspaper and shredding it.  This is where their big bro was happy to engage!  Ain’t no kitten or puppy got a thing on three young ones in destruction mode.  Found it was easier to let them destroy and clean it up myself.

*Preschool Age -  You  have survived a few major milestones.  Preschoolers can talk much better and the escalation gets interesting.  Didn’t matter where we were, if they wanted to scream; they would outdo each other.  Big brother did not like this stage and would say as much.  Actually he’d say (loudly), “They are SO annoying.”   Most difficult was when the TES occurred while shopping.  You already have the largest cart in the store, and then the loudness begins.  My girls shouted out private body parts and LAUGHED – over and over and over; louder and louder and louder.  Grrrr and Sigh.  My best approach was to stop the cart, get on their level, and tell them quietly that we will leave.  They believed me as I did follow through once before and they remembered. 

Pushing is another escalation that not only bugs me, but it really bothers other people.  Heck, I don’t want two kids bumping into me or falling down – which also makes it a bit dangerous.  I’ve been known to pinch a little when this happens…in the aisle on a plane…a crowded plane.  :/  Separation is by far the most successful solution.  Seriously, I try to be as peaceful as possible.  Seems like any peace is a welcome scenario – haha!!  Their preschool teachers would have them sit separately to keep everyone 'safe'!  ;)  Also the other kids could hear the teacher with the girls sitting on opposite sides of the class.

*School Age -   My twins just turned five and will be starting Developmental Kinder next year.  So here’s where I leave you.  Our twins play in the mud, color themselves and each other with markers (hint – get rid of the black markers/paints; they’re really NOT washable), play dress up, ignore me and SCREAM! TES is more of the same as listed above so far.  I’ll gladly update what I find out!! Oh, I'll let y'all know how they do in class; there's only one DK so separating them is not an option, but I know it's a hot topic in our community.

All in all, I do believe the TES will last them their whole lives.  When they’re grown with families of their own and get together, they may very well clear a room!  Being a twin must be so incredible, not that they’d know any different; so they might as well claim escalation as their own syndrome to the exclusion of siblings.  The main difference is that….meh… I don’t actually know what the difference is.  I’m not the twin; I just parent them.  J